birth story

On Friday, May 7^th, my whole family left town for California to attend my Grandfather’s funeral. I, being due the next day, was the only one who couldn’t go. My mom called before she left for the airport to ask if I felt laborish. I told her I didn’t feel anything yet. I called her back a couple of hours later to let her know that I had lost “the show!” and she said her babies always arrived within 24 hours after that. We went to bed that night expecting to go into labor within the next day or so. Saturday I still had no real contractions. We went out to breakfast at the Egg and I, expecting it to be our last pre-baby date. Sunday we slept in, and I had some contractions during the day, but they were far apart and very irregular. We did some walking all day to try to get things moving: we went to Costco, to Smashburger, and to the park where our Sunday school class was playing ultimate Frisbee. I sat on the sidelines and talked with a friend, and tried to hide it when I had painful contractions. I was starting to get tired of thinking I would be in labor any minute. By ten that night, I was having contractions anywhere from 12-6 minutes apart. We called the midwife to let her know, and she sent her assistant over to check my dilation. I was at 3 and the contractions weren’t getting more regular, so we finished the movie we had been watching and went to bed around midnight. I woke up just after 2 with a more painful contraction and timed a few – consistently 9 minutes apart. I woke David at 2.30 and he called Laura. I was surprised by how painful the contractions were already. We started filling up the birth pool, and I got in. The water helped the pain immediately. Laura arrived around 4 a.m. and checked me and I was still only at 4 cm, but I was shivering before each contraction and too hot during and after. It was hard to relax because of the shivering, and I felt scared and out of control. When I learned I was only at 4, I panicked. I didn’t understand why it hurt so badly already and I was just getting started. I knew it would take a long time, but Laura said I was showing the signs of transition. I told David and Laura I couldn’t do this and I wanted to go to the hospital NOW. Laura said she’s never had a transfer because of pain, but we could go if I wanted. There was no way I could be her first pain transfer! So I told her that I was only joking, and didn’t really want to go. I asked for more hot water for the pool so I could stop shivering and they also got me a cold towel for my head. I tried visualizing my yoga practice, which is sometimes the only way I can get to sleep. It helped me feel more in control and I tried not to think about the pain. David gave me a bite of food and a drink of water between every contraction, even though I whined about it and didn’t want to eat. After several hours, I started falling asleep between each contraction, even though they stayed at 1 - 2 minutes apart for hours. The water got cold and they started removing bucketfuls to replace it. I hated it when they moved the water during a contraction, but it was hard to tell them. Laura checked me again around 11am, I was at 9cm, but too sleepy to realize it. Finally around 2 Laura asked me to get out of the pool, maybe do some walking around. I knew my sister had run up and down the stairs when her labor was slow, and I wanted to try it.I made it from the bathroom to the dining room and wanted to die when the contractions hit. I went back to the bathroom for a couple of contractions, but I was frustrated with myself for not being able to walk more and I got impatient. I was having terrible back cramps, so I stood up and leaned over, trying to stretch my back. Just then a contraction came and I screamed. Laura and Dana came running, asking me what made it more painful and I tried to tell them I needed to stretch. My water still hadn’t broken so Laura broke it for me, but it was so tough that it took a few minutes. I was hoping for some release of pressure, but barely any amniotic fluid came out. I got back into the water, and before long I felt the slightest urge to push. I was so impatient that I said I felt like pushing, and they said go ahead. I tried with the next one, but my lower abdomen and back cramped up so bad that I couldn’t. Laura checked my cervix and said there was still a lip. She moved the lip out of the way, which hurt terribly. She pushed on a spot to help me understand where to push. When it hurt so bad to push, we all got worried.Laura asked me to get out of the pool again and labor in the bedroom. She had me get into every position imaginable and try to push, but nothing seemed to be working, and my back pain was excruciating. David had to put pressure on my lower back continually. Dana tried to take over for him so he could catch the baby, but she couldn’t push hard enough. The baby started crowning, and his heart rate went down. His head was halfway out, but then I felt him move way back up. Laura told me, “We have to get this baby out now!” I didn’t understand why she would say that. I thought something must be terribly wrong, that if I couldn’t push fast enough he would die. I pushed like crazy, with or without contractions. Laura had me lay flat on my back and push, and I couldn’t. I told her I didn’t think it was a good position for me, but she said she had to monitor the baby and help him come out. She had me hold my legs back to open my pelvis more. I had a “telescoping perineum,” which made it even harder for the baby to come out. Laura had to help his head come out because of it, and I tore. I was screaming and asking her to stop. Finally she let me stand next to the bed, leaning over it, and a gush of blood came out when the baby crowned again. The blood looked brighter red than normal, so Laura had to decide if she thought I was hemorrhaging. Again his head came halfway out, and he went back in. Laura said we were going to the hospital. I couldn’t bear the thought of going to the hospital with the baby’s head coming in and out. Another contraction came, but I couldn’t even push with it. I thought the baby was dead. My body did better without my help though, and the baby crowned for a third time. Laura said his head was still pink and looked good, and I started to be more hopeful. Laura had David climb onto the bed and stand leaning against the wall, still pushing on my back, and I leaned on him in a half-squat. I was able to better relax my hips in this position, and pushed the baby out! Laura and Dana caught him and gave him to me right away, and David and I sat down right where we were. I was so relieved that it was over and he was okay, I couldn’t stop smiling.

He was very blue at first, but started to get pinker quickly. He looked at me and stretched, and I LOVED it. David sent the announcement text out, and my family received itright after they had watched my grandfather's body get lowered into the ground and buried. My mom yelled out across the cemetery, "We have a new grandson!" At the ceremony, they had announced that my grandfather had had 4 great-granddaughters, and a great-grandson being born!

David was exhausted too! The midwives gave me and the baby some oxygen. Laura helped me birth the placenta, and showed me how to try to feed him, but he didn’t eat at first. After all that, Laura was telling me about my tear, and I fainted. This made her panic, because fainting is another sign of hemorrhaging, but I didn’t know that! I just knew that I faint at the sight of blood (the tearing-open kind of blood, not the normal childbirth kind). I didn’t know what she was so worried about, so we spent the next couple of hours miscommunicating. (She went home after my birth and looked it up, and told me I have vasovagal syncopy. Who knew that’s a real thing?) Finally, they weighed and measured the baby, 7 lbs 2 oz, and 20 ¾ inches long. The next day, we finally decided to name him Atticus Tyndale